Hi, I am Catherine and I am currently readjusting to life without gambling. Jan 29th, 2007 will be my 10-year mark in recuperation, but will never disremember where I have come from with gambling dependence.
Gambling dependence took just about all things from me such as family, friends, status, work, my house, car, nearly my marriage and cost me more than cash; it virtually cost me my life twice from self-destruction. On the other hand, I was also having unidentified mental & emotional health problems and disorders I never knew about until 2002.
I crawled my way from the darkness, depression, and emptiness.
My First Unsuccessful Suicide Trial
I woke up in the hospital with swathes wrapped all around my wrists and could hear two people discussing knives all over the living room as I lost consciousness again. The only thing I can recall was everything turning blank. At present I understand it was a total mind and body collapse. A psychological/emotional pass out. From there I visited a dependency/mental problem centre.
I was observed for self-murder for the first few days. After a little while, I got help from the psychiatrist there. And of course, since I was also a compulsive gambler, I needed extra treatment. For my gambling addiction, I got help from an addictions counsellor.
I have tried to quit betting on my own but felt I could handle it by myself and I wasn't successful with lots of recurrences and binges even while in ambulatory treatment. I figure I had not achieved base yet.
Even after staying for 20 days in a crisis centre and a failed suicide!
What Was Improper With Me?
it's known as DEPENDENCE It is an infection that is difficult to overcome. Be that as it may, conceivable. My condition didn't end there.
Not resulting from seriously betting, because of the financial pressures from this ailment, I had another self-murder attempt in 2006 as it appeared I had not done equal to what is needed in every aspect of recovery, including my financial inventory.
First lesson: Have a stable recovery plans. But in 2006 I also only wished to be normal, live life in recovery without having to use drugs for mental/emotional problems. Hence, I ceased taking them believing it was just the gambling that was inducing my mental malady issues of PTSD, manic depression, mild mania anxiety and bipolar insomnia cycles and OCD. Just for two weeks with no medications, I was back to desperation and suicidal thoughts. The way I handled it by taking the pills at once dragged me back to the dark side of emptiness again.
Back in the hospital again, another 16-day crisis centre stay and days of self-murder observation.
When dismissed this time, I had found out the difficult way that I require to take meds to keep my mental/emotional health and welfare as they refer this being "dually diagnosed or dual diagnosis."
Recovery with even bad experiences, coupled with some "faith" can reveal many life lessons in recovery to us. Too bad if I did not get any lessons, I won't see how much I changed in life. Even when you are not partaking in your preferred dependence, we can still have issues come up and life challenges in recovery, so being ready is very important.
Where Can I Be Heading With This Section Of My Narrative?
In the first place, the propensities and practices that we learn and get inside any dependence and "the cycle" of any habit should be hindered and taken away for us to have a shot at a genuine fair recuperation. Balance is very important in your recovery pathway also. Acknowledge the necessary skills and tools in the therapy to treat your addiction, don't give any space in you for making excuses, refusal, and others.
Second, know that recovery is not an instant process. It is as crucial to consent as Step-one, complete giving in.
And third, having a solid 'Relapse Prevention Program' is a mandatory for any individual who comes into recuperation and needs it long-term. We all believe that life occurrences take place. Even jovial or optimistic occurrences, not simple negative or pessimistic ones.
I think that is the reason behind the question asked by Gamblers Anonymous in our book called "The 20 Questions" to detect whether you have a gambling problem. It is the reason they posture #19.) "Did you ever have a desire to commend any favourable luck by a couple of hours of betting?" YES! For me, even when things wonderful took place, I would need to jubilee by going purportedly to have some "fun" gambling. Be that as it may, my habit was so terrible I required anything I could seize to recuperate, not simply Gamblers Anonymous.
I utilized my gatherings and associations there for my support and tuning in to other similarly invested addicts and keep my point of view of how deceptive and crafty this disease is. And GA made me know how necessary it is to be available for others through recovery service as others were there for me when I was a newcomer.
People need to start opening their minds and be reminded about this subtle addiction. We need to disassemble the myths that have been growing in our society about this sickness and open the eyes of the sufferer of dual diagnose. Truly, managing a psychological trauma while striving to attain a state of physical well-being is exacting; however outlining my travails, makes it clear that attaining a state of physical and mental well-being is feasible and every individual struggling with a rehab can have a life of laughter and happiness even during the rehabilitation period.